"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."

"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."

"When there are monsters there are miracles."

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

"Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion."

"Think what you do when you run into debt; you give another power over your liberty."

"What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: 'Why is it so dark in here?'"

"Act as if the maxim of your action were to become through your will a general natural law"

"When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves."

"Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."