"Start slow and taper off."

"Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"Drinking without being thirsty and making love at any time, Madame, are the only things that distinguish us from other animals."

"Farmers are the only indispensable people on the face of the earth."

"There is no compulsion in religion."

"Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?"

"A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works."

"Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends."

"The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor."

"National Health Insurance: The compassion of the IRS The efficiency of the Postal Service All at Pentagon prices!!!!"

"They say that Heaven is like TV... a perfect little world, that doesn't really need you."

"In this new, hyper competitive age, none of us, none of us can afford to be complacent."